We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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