I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
