Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
