I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
