Just fell off a train. Bad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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