He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
