Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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