Kiss
Puke
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Green mimosas i think yes
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
