just come out here and I will go home with you...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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