I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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