I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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