Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
