i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
