My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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