Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
