Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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