the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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