he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
