just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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