i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There r osticjed everywhere
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This is the high leading the old right now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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