im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had to cum in my sink.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
