Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
