i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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