Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
