Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
