You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
