she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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