No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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