yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
