She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
