ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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