yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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