y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
