do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
