I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So much rum. So many feels.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
