Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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