literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
