hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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