If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
