you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
