My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
