i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
