Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
