I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
