I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
