i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Four minutes until I can fart!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
