I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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