We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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