I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
