Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
