She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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