His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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