A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
