it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
