You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
