So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
