I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
