I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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