Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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