I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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