Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
