Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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