Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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