Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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