I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize