i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
