I think I just saw someone hide a body.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
This house was built for laser tag.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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