O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
