i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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