I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
