i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
