its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
