I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
