I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
