Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
