it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize