what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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