If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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