i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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